BLAME IS A GAME
Recently I spoke with someone who was in a relationship she thought was abusive. I asked if
she'd discussed with her partner seeing someone to help them change the way they communicate with each other. She said they had and it helped them for a few months, but then he went back to "his ways." I suggested she keep 'diamonds' in her mind. What do I mean by that? There are phrases you can say to yourself to help you have the kind of life, the kind of love you yearn for.
Here are two of these diamonds: 'Nothing changes till I change.'
If you accept this as an absolute truth, it means you will not lay blame on others for anything. See others as they are and not what you believe they are doing to you. Each of us comes from our own history and have our own path to follow - if you view others from a place of love and compassion, if you do not expect them to give you what they may not be capable of in that moment, then you can walk away gently,without fighting, and look to where you can find what you need. Stop trying to get anyone else to be anything other than who they are. Accept that you cannot control anyone's behavior but your own.
Here's another diamond: ask yourself : What is the sound of one hand clapping? - there is no sound! When someone goes up against you, do not fight back. Stop the drama before it starts.
Be clear - do you have an investment in repeating old behaviors because in fact that is where you are
most comfortable? You create the world you live in so keep diamonds in your mind.
( don't forget to dance around your room!)
she'd discussed with her partner seeing someone to help them change the way they communicate with each other. She said they had and it helped them for a few months, but then he went back to "his ways." I suggested she keep 'diamonds' in her mind. What do I mean by that? There are phrases you can say to yourself to help you have the kind of life, the kind of love you yearn for.
Here are two of these diamonds: 'Nothing changes till I change.'
If you accept this as an absolute truth, it means you will not lay blame on others for anything. See others as they are and not what you believe they are doing to you. Each of us comes from our own history and have our own path to follow - if you view others from a place of love and compassion, if you do not expect them to give you what they may not be capable of in that moment, then you can walk away gently,without fighting, and look to where you can find what you need. Stop trying to get anyone else to be anything other than who they are. Accept that you cannot control anyone's behavior but your own.
Here's another diamond: ask yourself : What is the sound of one hand clapping? - there is no sound! When someone goes up against you, do not fight back. Stop the drama before it starts.
Be clear - do you have an investment in repeating old behaviors because in fact that is where you are
most comfortable? You create the world you live in so keep diamonds in your mind.
( don't forget to dance around your room!)
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