I recently met someone who told me that they had been desperately unhappy for the past three years. This person lives in a beautiful part of America, is intelligent, handsome, funny, kind, healthy and only 32 years old! Why would someone like him not be excited about life every day when he wakes up? Was it his job? No, he likes his work. Does he feel underpaid? No. Does he have a nice place to live? Yes. So what is wrong? He is lonely. Why would a young man like him not have someone to share life with? I knew that whatever I told him, he already knew. So why does he persist in living his life unhappily without the Will to change it?
Sometimes we don't know HOW to change ourselves so that we can get what we want . It all seems overwhelming. If this is the case, I suggest THREE STEPS. The first step is to make your bed every morning after you get up. Do it immediately after you get out of bed. This is a simple action that you have to make a commitment to do EVERY DAY. When you start your day in this way you're telling yourself that you are going to be positive about the rest of your day. You must make this effort in self discipline if you truely want to change your life. There is no reason that making your bed every morning cannot be performed. As you are making the the bed, visualize the person you want to live with. Ask yourself if the person you want would like to live in your home with you. If you think your home is a mess and you would not want to bring anyone there, then spend 30 minutes everyday organizing your home. Within 2 weeks you should have a place that reflects an environment someone would want to live in. If you would do this for the one you love to be happy, then why not do it for yourself? Your home is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Take charge of it and you will begin the process of taking charge of your life. If you leave for work in the morning and have not made your bed, if you leave your clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, etc., you are sending out a message to the world that you do not care about yourself. Why should anyone care about you if you do not care about yourself? If you want love, you have to give love - first to yourself. If you cannot do this, I do not think your chances of ever having a mutually loving relationship will ever happen. So you need to ask yourself : "What is my investment in being alone?" Look in the mirror when you ask yourself this. If you want a partner but can't even put forth the effort to make your bed once a day, then how much do you really want someone?
Once you are in the 'Habbit' of making your bed, the second step is physical exercise.
It doesn't matter if it is just 5 minutes. It doesn't matter if it is just a fast walk. You must begin to do something physical for yourself. The important part is that you give yourself a time limit that you keep to which is realistic. Is there any reason you cannot devote 5 minutes a day to some form of exercise? After 2 weeks of 5 minutesa day, then push yourself to 10 minutes. I can't say this enough times: Self Discipline is the key to success, happiness and fulfillment of your dreams. It is important to have a schedule and to keep it. Make a promise to yourself. If you cannot keep your promise to yourself, how can you keep a promise to anyone else? Everyone can have love. It takes effort.
The third step is to put yourself 'out there' in a sincere way to meet people. For example, if you like learning about ceramics, take a class. Maybe you want to learn a language or even try country and western dancing. Do something that even if there was no one in that class who interested you romantically, you would enjoy learning something. You will meet others in the class and one never knows who they might meet through new acquaintances with which you have something in common. If there are no classes in your community that interest you, there might be volunteer opportunities where you can help others: a buddy program, helping the blind by reading, delivering meals, etc. By putting yourself out into the world and by putting love into the world, you will get love back.
These 3 steps must be taken if you do not want to live alone. Nothing will change till you change. Life does not go on forever. There is only so much time on this planet and it is up to you to make it your paradise or your hell.
You do not have to be alone. It is a choice. If you are willing to drop whatever 'investment' you have in seeing yourself as a loser and turn that into an investment into making yourself a "winner" you will find whatever help you need in making the changes to do so.